31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - Wanting of a Baby - Elizabeth - Day 12

The story of Elizabeth can be found in the early chapters of the Book of Luke in the Bible.

Elizabeth in the Hebrew context means “God has sworn”

We learn in Luke 1:5-7 that she and her husband were “Righteous before God” and that they “walked in all of the commandments and ordinances of the Lord”

Elizabeth was barren, and aging.  Aging…it’s such a harsh word to me… In the shadow of infertility I find myself feeling very old, with time as my enemy.  One of Elizabeth’s strengths was that she continued to focus on God, and not on herself, or the bitterness that comes with being barren.  I  have not been good at this. There are days where I like to wallow, where I feel trapped in this struggle.  Ryan becomes my enemy, and at times I can’t see the sunshine outside of the pity hole I have dug myself.  

I also see that Elizabeth and her husband Zachariah were Partners.In Luke we see references to “They”, I love this. The picture I see is two people that Love each other very much like God’s intends in a marriage.

I love that Gabriel visited Zachariah while he we ministering in the Temple.  This makes me ponder what ways I can actively minister in the house of my Lord. Orphan Care and Helping to mentor wives in Organization and Loving their Husbands has been on my heart lately.  I want to focus on my God the way Elizabeth did, and walk in the commandments of the Lord.

Oh the relational wisdom that this couple would share with their son and the people  in their lives.  The years of marriage, of devotion to each other and their God, the memories and intimacy of two people sharing life together, it’s an epic love story with eternal impact!

Can you imagine the conversation between Gabriel and Zachariah today:

Gabriel: ”So Zachariah how’s your 501K looking , Elizabeth is about to get knocked up”

Zachariah: “Dude….Really….You  ARE Crazy”

And that’s where we see the doubt, in the moment when God offers a miracle.  But in our humanness we forget that God is a God of Wonders, and that we only need to acknowledge and receive his gifts!  Poor Zachariah, no voice, no words, no way to verbalize the joy or anxiety that he is feeling, the cost of his disbelief. I wonder how Elizabeth felt about this.  Maybe she found  his silence quite attractive, they did conceive quickly after all.

After a healthy pregnancy, and a visit from the Mother of Jesus, Elizabeth delivered a son.  She praised God for this boy, and appreciated God’s mercy and kindness.  Like her marriage she taught her child in the ways of the Lord and watched as her miracle son cleared the path of the Savior. 

I pray that I can follow the trail Elizabeth blazed ahead of me, that I can love my Lord and follow his commandments, that I can be the wife Ryan needs me to be, and that some day I can raise a Child to walk faithfully with God!

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - Medicines,Vitamins,Supplements - Day 11

** Please note…I am not a doctor, nurse, or medical practitioner – I’m just documenting the things I've researched and been told, and tried.  Please see your own medical practitioner before making any changes.**

Let me start out by saying…I am terrible at taking pills. I just don’t like to do it…I don’t know why…it’s in my genes and its crazy.

Medication:

For PCOS I have been prescribed Metformin.  Metformin has been used to treat both Type 2 Diabetes and PCOS. Metformin treats insulin resistance and suppresses glucose production by the liver. Metformin is often given with Clomid to help with Ovulation.

I haven’t chosen to move down the Clomid path just yet. I have a personal goal to get my blood sugar in the normal range for a month before moving onto Clomid.

Vitamins:

One A Day Vitacraves

These are my daily vitamin. There is something about them, the gummies for grown-ups. We are taking the rest of the bottle we currently have. It’s one of the things I like about them, Ryan takes them too.

I am then moving into a pre-natal vitamin. After a good bit of research I am looking for a vitamin that includes the following:

·         400 micrograms (mcg) of folic acid.

·         400 IU of vitamin D.

·         200 to 300 milligrams (mg) of calcium.

·         70 mg of vitamin C.

·         3 mg of thiamine.

·         2 mg of riboflavin.

·         20 mg of niacin.

·         6 mcg of vitamin B12.

·         10 mg of vitamin E.

·         15 mg of zinc.

·         17 mg of iron.

My problem with vitamins is they normally upset my stomach. I am hoping to find one that is easy on my tummy but also has everything that is recommended to support growing life.

Supplements:

I’m always a little skeptical when it comes to supplements. My sweet Mother put the fear of God in me over some diet pills in high school and I just haven’t been able to take the hocus-pocus out of them.

After reading some other blogs on PCOS and Infertility I noticed a trend towards a supplement called Daily Wellness Company Fertility Blend for Women .  The product comes with pretty great reviews, and after learning about its ingredients, I discovered that it includes many of the standalone herbs that other more naturalistic approaches offered to treat my symptoms.

I am trying to take this three times a day as listed on the bottle. As I said earlier, I would be much more likely to take this if it was a one a day variety.

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - Hurt in the Waiting- Day 10

There is this ticking in my heart.  tick…tock…tick…tock…tick…tock

Consciously I have tucked it away so deeply, that on most days it’s only a soft reminder of the journey I am on.

Then there are days when it’s the only thing I can hear, Tick…Tock..Tick…Tock..

Waiting…I’m not terribly good at waiting. I don’t know that anyone really is. Some of us have embraced patience, better than others. But when I think about it, we wouldn't need patience if we were good at waiting.

I am cautious about sharing this clock with others.  I don’t know that many people would understand, and to others this vulnerability is a weakness that can be exploited.

Regardless the clock keeps ticking. Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock…

And I wait…with hesitation and hope that someday I will hold a child of my own.

My sweetest of friends and family often remind me that it’s “all in God’s timing” and that “God has a plan for your life”, their wisdom soothes my heart for a few moments.

But in the quiet moments of the day, when I find myself at the feet of my lord, he is quiet as I ask, Why Lord Why?

He has been so faithful in my life. I have so very much, yet this one thing haunts me, and at times the waiting has shaken me to my core.  Tick… Tock…Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock..

The waiting is lonely.

As the moments turn into days, and the days into months, and months into years…I pray for the blessing of a child.  I pray that a child is in his plan for my life. 

Tick…Tock… Tick… Tock.. Tick..Tock

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - Week 2 Meal Plan- Day 9

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - Week Two Exercise Plan - Day 8

I know I know...my work out pan for this week...looks a lot like last week....My plans were interrupted a bit.

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - Progress Update- Day 7

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - PCOS 411- Day 6