His Home, Our Castle - 31 Days of Loving That Man

We've lived in multiple homes during our marriage.  Starting out in a one bedroom apartment, moving to a condo, to a town home, to a house. We have enjoyed each of our homes for various reasons, like the emotional closeness found living in close physical proximity with each other. The calming moments of  living in a small community surrounded by trees and parks. Most recently we have loved filling our home with laughter and love as we have more space to entertain our family and friends.

Our home is important to both of us! In our early years of marriage I had wonderful plans of domestic superiority, and was lost in a trance of becoming a Mini Martha Stewart with freshly baked scones and 1000 thread count sheets on all beds. Planning dinners and events, decorating our home with home made goodness, and baking delicious desserts from scratch,  I found myself in a viscous cycle of busyness that called for crash cleaning our home before any event.

I have since realized that I cannot keep pace with this crazy cycle for three reasons:
1. I am Human
2. I want a home that people can pop in and say Hi, and not cause an emotional tidal wave of anxiety.
3. Ryan loves a clean house. His world view is dramatically improved when everything is in its place and toilets and clean. (Not including that one room in our house that looks like a tornado came threw a world of unpacked boxes...its on my goals for new years, New Years 2015 that is).

As demands on my time increase as my career grows and passions change, I have been been changing my tactical planning for keeping our home. This process still isn't perfect, I'm not perfect, but it's getting better.

Some areas I've made changes in are:
1. Scheduling a night mid week to clean house and do laundry. I find it hard to get chores done on the weekends, as we are too busy resting or having fun!
2. I've created a house keeping routine. Depending on our calendars and any special events coming this may include some larger chores or maintenance. I write it out on 3X5 Cards, Post it Notes, Excel, Word, what ever tool works as a check list.
3. We pickup up the house before we go to bed. Yes I said we, Ryan is such an awesome guy!

What ideas have you tried to help with keeping house?

Marking my Territory - 31 Days of Loving That Man

Let's get real for a minute.

My husband works in an office full of women.

And he is an amazing male specimen. I mean really, I am a lucky girl!

And for this fact, or what I am sure are just my monthly hormones acting rebellious, I lose my mind at times and get clingy. I have these weird thoughts, that lead me down terrible paths, it's not cute at all.

Recently I had an irresistible need to have our picture on Ryan's desk at work. I wanted him to have a visual reminder of us, something to make him smile. That really was my intention y'all. I mean I have pictures at my desk and they make me smile!

To make matters worse, I ended up in the frame department at Michaels craft store with a coupon. I was sure I had found the perfect frame. It had space for 3 square pictures, 1 of us, and 2 of the Puppies. It was delightfully masculine and trendy at the same time, two design qualities that I was sure Ryan would appreciate. I was THRILLED! I ran home, printed three pictures and put it all together, with great anticipation.

Ryan was quite taken with it. I was on cloud 9 until he said....

"Are you trying to mark your territory??"

To which I replied... "You know I am" with a wink!!!

Lipstick vs Lipgloss - 31 Days of Loving That Man

Its could be one of the most important decisions in life...

To wear Lipstick or Lipgloss?

One is smooth, deep in color, and with the right formula long lasting.
The other is sweet, a little sticky, and adds just a little bit of sparkle.
If you get lucky you get that perfect mix, that completes a beautiful look.

Lipstick and Lipgloss are a lot like kissing.

There is such variety, such sparkle, such beauty. Kisses are both the start and confirmation of attraction. We all remember our first kisses, but can we remember our last? Something happens after years of kissing that man of yours. What used to be hours of kissing, has turned into quick hello and goodbye pecks.

When's the last time you sat cuddled up on the couch and just made out with that man of yours? It's been far too long for me let me tell you. So I am changing that!!! I am saying no to the peck, and yes to a minimum of 10 seconds or more of marital lip dancing.

Pucker up Buttercup!!

A Love Wall - 31 Days of Loving That Man

When we moved into this home I had the perfect wall in our living room to create an homage to our love!! I am a firm believer that every home needs one of these!!! Marriage, that ultimate commitment is important to celebrate!!!

I found the idea from Jenn at Perfectly Imperfect.

On this wall you find pictures, art, and quotes to create a decorative foundation for our home representing the cornerstone of our family, next to Jesus that is.

I found this wrapped canvas at Target. I just loved the design and feel of it!

This Picture was taking on our 5th Wedding anniversary! We were at a hotel down in Laguna Beach. It was a magical weekend! 

I had this canvas made by Canvas People! They are an awesome shop, and they make awesome products with great coupons! 

This is one of our engagement pictures. We are in the dugout of Angel's Stadium. Its hard to believe we were that young. It still makes my heart race when he kisses me like this!!

Instead of a guest book for our wedding, we had our guests sign the matte around this picture. It is such an amazing day, and this is such a wonderful treasure!!!

The shadow box frame holds memories of some of our best and hardest times. From Left to Right: Trying on our new coats in preparation of our Alaska cruise, An Angel's Game, A few days into Ryan's Recovery after surgery to remove cancer from his skull. 

These are little square prints from my Instagram account. I had them printed from Postal Pix. 

Two more shots from our engagement picture shoot. I will never forget how excited Ryan was to be standing on field of Angel's stadium!

We are both California Babies. We have debated on moving out of state, but continue to remain here. This print has a heart where our current home is located. We may move out of our home state, but this place will always be home. 

I think this one explains itself!! 

This was my 1st Year Anniversary (Paper) Gift to Ryan. Its one of our Wedding pictures that is made up of a collage of little pictures for our first year of marriage. I wish I could remember where I ordered this at. 

Lastly was a gift from Ryan last year for our Anniversary. He had our wedding vows engraved. I don't think I have words to express how much I treasure this, and how thoughtful it was of him to have this created!

Do you have a love wall or homage to your Marriage in your home?

Little Reminders - 31 Days of Loving That Man

I love Shutterfly!

Love Love Love it!

I received a coupon for a free coffee mug. I debated and debated on what I would do with the Mug. I should have used the offer as a gift for some one else, but decided to be a little bit selfish. I created one for myself.

I liked the idea of having something to sip my hot apple cider in that made me smile.  Like that piece of yarn you tie around your finger to remember something important, this mug reminds me of the lives I hold dear!

Reminders are good things, like my wedding ring that reminds me of the the day I said I do. Or better yet, this picture of us, 7 years after we said I do, sitting in a park watching a play! These are both amazing reminders of the love we share.  Like most of us women, I work hard during my days, which often leaves me less than desirable when I return home. In the evenings, I realize that Ryan often ends up getting what is left over, when my mind finally shuts down from the thoughts of the day.  Reminders of our Love keep me focused, and when I am focused I am at my best, which helps me give my best to Ryan.

What reminders do you have of your Love?

7 Things I Love about this Man - Part 1 - 31 Days of Loving that Man

Somedays things are just hard. Everything just goes wrong, or I end up on my pity pot, and I can't quite find the sunshine. God has blessed me with such an amazing man, and in the midst of life it helps to highlight some specific things about Ryan that I Love:

1. He faithfully attends and participates in a Men's Bible Study. I love that he prioritizes learning more about his faith with a group of godly men.

2. He waits up to greet me when I get home from my Tuesday Night Bible Study.

3. He honors his relationship with his Mother, and ensures that she stays a priority in our busy lives.

4. He is a die hard Angel's Fan. His excitement makes my heart happy.

5. He goes all in with me on my crazy date night ideas. Nothing like being pulled through a monster fog filled Halloween maze to prove that you love your wife! HA!

6. He lets me rest when I can't keep going.

7. He expresses his appreciation for the little things I do.

Next time Life gets to you, and it feels like your Hubby is on an opposing team, take a moment and list 7 things you Love about him!

What 7 things can you think of right now?

Loving that Man Play List - 31 Days of Loving that Man

Scary Date Night - 31 Days of Loving that Man

I love me a good scary movie. In fact the creepier, darker, scarier, the better.  October is the perfect time of year to celebrate this scary affliction of mine. The changes in weather (unless you live near us in Southern California where we are still enjoying summer), the changes in daylight, the evening fog that starts to roll in. It just the perfect season for something a bit wicked. An almost perfect October Friday night would include my hubby, my puppies, a blanket or two and a most wonderfully scary movie to hide from.

What would be The Perfect Friday Night you ask? Well that would be.....A Scary Date Night.

Date Nights are great opportunities to cultivate an on purpose connection with your partner in crime. Especially after busy weeks and crazy lives.  I try my best to plan something at least once a month for us to do that is out of the ordinary day to day.  One of our date nights this month was to visit the Queen Mary and her Dark Harbor event. We invited some of our close friends to join us, because there could be nothing better than screaming as a group, right?

We started our evening with a yummy meal at Islands, and carpooled down to the Queen Mary.

I haven't decided which was scarier the monsters we found in the 6 scary mazes, or our friend Andy...You can decide.

There are lots of ways to spice up romance, one great way is to find yourself wrapped up in your husbands arms as scary monsters jump out at you! 

Oh Andy...your a Scary Boy!!

There is nothing better than finding another married couple to pal around with! The Youngs are just the amazing!! We value that they love our Jesus, and each other!

Then there are lifetime friendships, like the one I have with Paul (The dude on the right below). It so wonderful to have friends that support your marriage, not just your friendship!

The moral of this story....
Google something local that might scare your blood into pumping a little faster, grab on to the man of yours, and celebrate the season!

His Details - 31 Days of Loving that Man

The description of the Proverbs 31 Woman is a verse that resonates within my DNA. I just know that she and I would be fast friends, although I might be a little envious of her at times. I mean...she has her stuff together. 

As I focus on loving Ryan well, one verse stands out, to do him good. 

One easy way for me to accomplish this, is to keep track of his details.  Details for making doctors appointments, insurance changes, car registration, and other miscellaneous facts about this XY Chromosome man of mine. There are lots of great tools out there to keep this information together.  Depending on the type of information and the level of security around it, I have used a few different options. You can use a home management notebook, a planner, index cards in your wallet, or the multitude of software options like phone apps or spreadsheets. I find the most useful are the options that I can keep with me for moments When Toilets Attack or other such activities that come from being married to a cute boy. 

Here is the basic information I keep handy.

What information do you keep handy?

The Number 1 Thing - 31 Days of Loving That Man

The number one way I can love my husband is by Praying for him. 

Prayer changes hearts. It changes lives. When I think of all the ways I have been prayed for, and the ways God has showed up, my heart has been forever changed. I have prayed for Ryan throughout our marriage. I can remember praying in the days before our wedding. Other times, I’ve prayed in frustration while arguing, for safety while driving to work, or prayers for healing when cancer was discovered for third time in his skull. God has been so very faithful to the desires of my heart.

In recent years a new focus on prayer has emerged in the Christian community. A focus on praying for God’s will to influence our lives. After hearing more about this, I thought what better way to lift up my husband in prayer, thank to pray specific verses and allow God’s words, his thoughts, his wants, to direct my prayers.

In an effort to help organize my prayer time, I picked themes and verses that match the letters in our Last Name.

It looks something like this. 

Seek:

Psalm 119:10 - I Seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.

I pray that Ryan is always seeking the Lord in all that he does.

Character:

Romans 5: 2-4 – And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.

I pray that Ryan’s strong character stays grounded in the Lord, in the small trials of life to the life altering decisions. I pray that he perseveres and finds hope.

Hear:

Matthew 11:15 – Whoever has ears let them hear.

I pray that Ryan hears the Lord. The he has moments in his day for reflection and quiet, that he can by moved by the spirit.

Acknowledge

Proverbs 3:6 – In all ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path.

I pray for courage, that Ryan will be brave enough to boldly acknowledge who his Lord is. Ryan stands firm and openly in his faith. It’s one of the very reasons I fell in love with him. I pray that this never changes.

Ask

Matthew 7:7 – Ask, and it will be given to you

I pray that Ryan seeks openly the grace and gifts of our God. I pray that he is in constant conversation with our Lord, and that he lifts his needs and wants to the almighty with faith that it will be provided.

Follow

Matthew 4:19 – and he said to them “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men”

I pray that as Ryan follows his Lord, that others around whim will be influenced. That through Ryans actions others will come to know, love an find salvation in Jesus.

These are the prayers of my heart during October, and for all of my days married to this man.

What prayers to you have for yours?

We say I do - Welcome to 31 Days of Loving That Man

Welcome to my series as part of 31 Days, a writing Challenge.

We say I do to love, to honor, to cherish, and to be faithful to another living, breathing being. We say I do, us, girls, women, fiancés, brides, wives. We say I do, just as generations of females before us and hitch our beautiful souls to our handsome men with amazing hopes and dreams. And life happens. 

Seven and a half years of life for me to be exact. Years full of laughter, tears, sickness, health, anger, and compassion. Years of success and failures that have changed our relationship. From career choices to family relationships our marriage has experienced the growth pains of change with the distinct sweetness of compassion and grace.  These years have changed us as individuals. The newness of romance has been shed to reveal a steadfast love. What was once the clash of a volcano and tornado in heated disagreement has evolved into a much more productive pattern of resolving conflict. More importantly we have learned to lean on the sacred knowledge that God has hope for our marriage. 

In the movie "The 7 Year Itch" a faithful husband is tempted by the irresistible Marilyn Monroe. I have had a girl crush on Marilyn for most of my adult life.  To avoid sounding pedestrian and over promoting the importance of feminine wiles, I write this while working as a technical project manager in a predominately male IT Shop. I pride myself in successfully navigating the corporate landscape with my brain rather than my body.  However, when it comes to my marriage, my relationship with my number one man, my  goal is to keep his attention mind, body and soul. Lets face it the seven year itch isn't just a movie, and I want to honor our commitment until death do us part. 

If you have been married for 1 day or 50 years, its an important reminder and exciting endeavor to love our men with the intentions of our vows. Focusing on topics that are hard to learn other times too easily forgotten, some areas will be silly, some soul searching. Doesn't that describe the best love stories especially when they are our own?? Join me won't you, as I focus on some areas of value when it comes to loving that man of yours.