A storm rages...in the heat of October

My husband had cancer...he's had it twice

I don't even know how to pronounce it.....although according to his doctors in a quiet conversation..."Its the bad stuff"

After what feels like 300 syllables...it always ends with Cancer

Scars on his head tell the story of two surgeries. Two very painful parts of his life, that I'd missed.

Until now...

He has a new growth, one that we both wanted to forget and not see.

The growth has grown...we couldn't forget...the pain started...the aggravation...the unknown storm started brewing

But then...all storms are unknown...Its the not knowing that hurts me.

Not knowing what the doctors would do...

Not knowing how bad the biopsy would hurt him...

Not knowing how his struggle would break my heart...

Not knowing how many layers of tissue are left...and if it will metastasize into something else...

In the midst of this October heat wave, I find myself in an all consuming storm of fear.

As we wait for a phone call to confirm our fears...I ponder if I am strong and faithful enough to give this journey with my sweet husband to the Lord.

I know the captain of this ship Loves us. I know the captain of our ship has a plan.

I only wish I knew where our destination was....

Death Box - Day 1

So we got the Insanity Workout...affectionately named "The DEATH box".

Which is another reason why I shouldn't stay up late to watch night time TV...

Something happens in the middle of the night..
I find myself feeling like a world conqueror...who has the strenghth of wonder woman...

Oh..goodness...

So I thought I would record my 60 day journey here. I am sure that it will take a couple rounds to get to my goal weight..but lets not get ahead of ourselves.

Day 1 - is the first of 4 Fitness Tests (Hardest test I've ever taken)

You work on a set of exercises and record the number of times you complete the exercises in a minute.

You have two wonderfully fit (androids) to observe while you sweat to death...

Here are my numbers:

Starting Weight: 257 lbs
Starting Blood Sugar: 331

Fit Test Results

1. Switch Kicks - 48
2. Power Jacks - 20
3. Power Knees - 56
4. Power Jumps - 20
5. Globe Jumps - 6
6. Suicide Jumps - 1
7. Push up Jacks - 1
8. Low Plank Oblique - 8

I worked out at 5:30 am...and by 8:00 am...my body was hurting...