We are struggling…or I should restate that…I am struggling…
I had a plan…Married by 25, Babies by 30…
I met Mr. Right…got married…at 28...totally blessed by God!
I’m getting ready to celebrate my 31st birthday…and find myself wishing, hoping and praying for a little one to call our own.
In a recent moment of despair (my birthday and Mothers Day…just happen to be in the same month)…I found myself lying on my favorite pity pot..Which happens to be the size of our bed… feeling very sorry for myself. After much poking and prodding about what he could do to change my mood…Mr. Perfect finally got the answer he was looking for in the form of tears and blubbering. “GIVE ME A BABY”…as if there was anything he could do about it…
I’m the one who needs to lose weight, I’m the one who’s diabetic, and I’m the one who has polycystic ovarian disease.
Can you hear my fists pounding…and my feet stomping…
Somewhere between the last months of tests and doctors appointments my “think I can” turned into a “we never will”….Which has slowly been shaped into “we never could without God”….a wonderful fact that my husband reminded me of.
I started crocheting a prayer shawl…Every stitch is a prayer that God will give me the perseverance to change my eating habits and the energy to get into the gym. Every Chain is a prayer that in his perfect timing he will give us the baby we have been praying and wishing for.
In the mean time, I will continue to love this man that God gave me. He has never pressured me about having children. A wonderful blessing to me. If only I could take that pressure off myself. Maybe that’s something else I need to pray about.
No comments:
Post a Comment