There is this ticking in my heart. tick…tock…tick…tock…tick…tock
Consciously I have tucked it away so deeply, that on most
days it’s only a soft reminder of the journey I am on.
Then there are days when it’s the only thing I can hear, Tick…Tock..Tick…Tock..
Waiting…I’m not terribly good at waiting. I don’t know that anyone
really is. Some of us have embraced patience, better than others. But when I
think about it, we wouldn't need patience if we were good at waiting.
I am cautious about sharing this clock with others. I don’t know that many people would understand,
and to others this vulnerability is a weakness that can be exploited.
Regardless the clock keeps ticking. Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock..Tick..Tock…
And I wait…with hesitation and hope that someday I will hold
a child of my own.
My sweetest of friends and family often remind me that it’s “all
in God’s timing” and that “God has a plan for your life”, their wisdom soothes
my heart for a few moments.
But in the quiet moments of the day, when I find myself at
the feet of my lord, he is quiet as I ask, Why Lord Why?
He has been so faithful in my life. I have so very much, yet
this one thing haunts me, and at times the waiting has shaken me to my core. Tick… Tock…Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock..
The waiting is lonely.
As the moments turn
into days, and the days into months, and months into years…I pray for the
blessing of a child. I pray that a child
is in his plan for my life.
Tick…Tock… Tick… Tock.. Tick..Tock
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