I have a lot of Questions, Questions that I don’t have good
answers for.
As I focus on making healthy changes, I grapple with some
hard questions. These Questions hurt my heart and squeeze my soul. They are hard Questions, questions that I
want answers for.
I have spent much of the last few years submissively waiting
for answers. I know God will answer, but his timing rarely fits into my wants. This waiting without action has made me
sluggish. As I have watched others take
action on the things they are passionate about, I found myself sitting back,
praying on occasion, and giving into the little voice in my head that told me I
wasn't good enough, or strong enough, or loved enough to get an answer.
As I spend more time in the word, with my sisters in Christ,
and in constant prayer, my Lord has started to answer the questions I ponder.
What happens if I
never conceive a child?
I am still precious to my Lord. I am still of worth to my
Husband. I am still loved by my family and friends. Nevertheless I still need
to be as healthy as I can be, so that we can adopt a child.
What happens if we never adopt a child?
I am still precious to my Lord. I am still of worth to my
Husband. I am still loved by my family and friends. Nevertheless I still need
to be as healthy as I can be, so that I can be a wonderful wife and lover of
people and servant of God.
What happens if we don’t have children?
I am still precious to my Lord. I am still of worth to my
Husband. I am still loved by my family and friends.
My Questions come from my fears. Fear that I will not be
enough, that I will be alone, and that I have failed. But these answers, these precious answers
from my heavenly father, they console my heart and I find comfort in his truth.
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