Friday, October 4, 2013

31 days in Anticipation of Expecting - How did I get here - Day 4

So "We" really want to be three...or four...or five...or heck maybe a whole softball team! 

Ryan and I are blessed in our Marriage. We have a great thing going on, and that is a wonderful foundation to lean on. Knowing that our happiness will continue with or without our family growing is something I find comfort in. Over the years before our Wedding and after I have gained weight and didn't care much to do anything about it. I  have a husband who loves me, despite my weight. This is a wonderful attribute of the man I married, however, its also a bit of a curse that allows me to be lazy about my weight.  

The reality is I am almost 35 and I want Babies, and I will take them just about any way I can get them.  As I ponder our infertility, I often wonder we are in this trial. I know I wont know that answer this side of heaven, but I still get hung up on it. 

Philippians 4:6- Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

We have started down the road to adopting, and have hit some blocks that are heart breaking and aggravating. From Money, to Moving, to Health Issues, things just haven't lined up for us.Which brings us to today. I find myself questioning if I am willing to make the sacrifices I need to, to either conceive or adopt.  I am so thankful that My Lord is a healer and that he knows the plans for my life.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

So I am focusing on the things that I know I can do. I am eating better foods, exercising, praying, reading, finding time for peace, taking herbs and medicines, and strengthening the bond with my husband.  I need to stay focused on this until I change my habits and lifestyle.  I am having to make on purpose decisions about time management, my thoughts, and what I allow to influence my world. As I walk each day, I keep my eyes on My Lord, as I know that I cannot do this without him. 

Psalm 37:4 - Take Delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

1 comment:

  1. I don't mean to be a stalker ;)

    We are at the same place, going through the same wonders. I'm 37. I know that's part of the problem. My doctor tells me that's part of the problem. I also wonder if the Depo Provera that I was on for three years in my younger days doesn't have something to do it; the stories about women who cannot get pregnant or cannot carry to term after having been on depo are heartbreaking.

    Both my husband and I work with difficult children. We have talked about fostering (we have friends who are doing that now), and we believe that if we do not have children of our blood, we will have children of our heart. We may never have an infant, which will be hard for his parents, but we have great love, and we can make a difference in the lives of children who desperately need it.

    It will be at least a year before we begin to take those steps, though. I'm currently work an hour away from our "home", staying with his parents during the week. In the spring, we'll be applying for jobs and hoping to wind up together either there or here (we prefer here). In the meantime, like you, we are working on strengthening our relationship, improving our health, and creating a clearing for what the future will be.